Monday, February 23, 2009

Love & Understanding

What does it really mean to be understood? Is understanding that point where someone agrees with you? Is it when they have been through what you're going through? Is it when people empathize with you? Or is understanding that point where the other person feels they need to take on full responsibility of helping you feel loved?

Lately this idea of "understanding" has been in my mind a lot. I see it everyday with conversations I have with people, friends, family. Sometimes we come to a point in life where we just want to be understood, but we're not even sure what that means. We seek for that comfort, that warmth, that need in everyone around us and end up feeling empty.

In my personal experiences I have come to understand (lol) that understanding is not found when another person agrees with you, or better said supports you. It isn't found when someone says "aww I'm sorry". Not even when they say "I know how you feel". Understanding in my life, has been found in those people who are willing to lay down their life for my own well being. Maybe not take a bullet, leave the baby home alone, and abandon work. That is just reckless living. It is when that person feels they need to do anything they can in order to help you feel like you are understood. Like you are loved. Like there is hope.

Sometimes we need that friend that will just sit there and hear us mope and cry about how horrible our lives are until we have no more tears left. Sometimes we need that person that will say nothing, but listen. Not even comment, just listen. It is through actions like these that we feel understood, understood because the other person sees the need we have for them in our lives.

It's inevitable. We were all made for each other. We need each other to survive. The simple caress of another human being helps us live longer. Everyone longs to be understood somehow. Reality is that sometimes just praying is not enough, we need to know that someone will be there. Everyone wants to have that friend, that person, that you can contact at any time and they will be living proof to you that Jesus lives. Lives within that person, within every word, every gesture, every kind act they do for you. And that is exactly what we need today, to be Jesus for each other. For that stranger on the bus, for that acquaintance in the group, for that friend in school. For everyone. It is only when we love each other that we will be able to understand each other. Love as Jesus loved. Love everyone.


Denise said...

Very inspiring !!! DEEP to say the least. As I read it I kept replaying the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi which in essences goes hand in hand with what you have shared.

Prayer to St Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Roxy said...

This is a very nice piece of writing, it made me realize the true meaning of understanding; which was something I was struggling with for the past few weeks. I kept telling others to understand me meanwhile I didnt understand the true meaning.Thanks for sharing a message full of hope.

Giselle said...

Thanks Mabe for expressing your thoughts on UNDERTSANDING. :-)

I think the only person who will ever understand us 100% is JESUS. And to add to what you said in your blog, the only way we will ever begin to understand anyone is if we have Jesus in our hearts.

Denise, I love that prayer, especially when they sing it at mass. It consists of all the gifts and graces we should be asking God to give us.

I think a great question to ask ourselves when we are trying to understand people is " WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?" how would he respond?, how would he act? , etc. We have to put that Jesus inside of us into practice.. no solamente cuando nos conviene si no siempre.

Again thanks Mabe for posting this blog up. I also , like Roxy, have been having trouble "understanding" those around me. And this post confirmed to me what I need to do.... be more like HIM and less like ME.

Jasmin said...

Nice thought... You actually defined the true meaning of friendship.

Diandra said...

Loved it!...One of the ideas that really capture my attention was when you explained how we need to be "Jesus for each other" and I believe that is when we truely come to understand that factor in life that we can know what love is and how to love!... as Denise said VERY INSPIRING and as Gisselle said we need to "Be more like him and less like me.."
God bless you always!!

Cynthia said...

Hey, since I was the first to read this last nite (or early morning), you know I told you that it touched me especially: "It is when that person feels they need to do anything they can in order to help you feel like you are understood. Like you are loved. Like there is hope."
In friendships, we tend to run the risk of playing counselor or messiah thinking that we always need to have SOMETHING to say, when in reality all the other person wants is for you to listen, or read... lol. I guess in the process of "understanding" we just always have to be careful not to seek for others to agree with us, to the point that when they don't, they are viewed as misunderstanding (which you mentioned), but it does happen. We seek and seek until we find that person that "understands" and it is only because they remotely agree to how we are feeling or thinking at the moment.
We all still have a lot to learn about what it means to be Jesus for one another.

Josaira said...

Bueno adonde comienzo...... I agree with all the ladies everythin they have mentioned is correct....To Understand.... such a complex word in which our world today cant even begin to get around to understanding our friends, neighbors, colleages families and just people in general sumtimes we jus dont want to understand each other....and I completly agree with you mabe.....ur blog has made me realize that understanding is very much needed in the world today as is mercy and compassion which can tie in with understanding but most importanly JESUS is needed.....My prayer is that we all reflect Jesus bc he is understanding and love and peace.... And understanding him is when we understand ourselves.......